Originally published by Manero
Thank God those debates are finally out of the way.
Now you can sit back and make a well-informed decision. Y’know, pick your winner. Or better yet, wiener.
We highly suggest you go with the all-beef frank with grilled pepinos and sriracha ketchup.
Introducing Fritzi Dog, a pocket-size haberdashery of hot dogs and pillowy buns, where combining every conceivable flavor of frank, roll and condiment is under your control, now officially serving at the Original Farmers Market.
So yeah, hot dogs. Delicious… but tricky. It’s just so damn impossible to enjoy one without that nagging thought in the back of your head: “This stuff isn’t fit for my tía Rosa’s gato Chuchie to eat.”
And that f**king cat hates you.
Anyway, you never need worry again about fillers, by-products, snouts or colitas. What we have here are artisanal dogs made with vegetable-fed, nitrate-free, humanely raised (and then we assume downed quietly in their sleep) meat like beef, pork, turkey and duck. Plus four types of fresh-baked buns and over 16 toppings, including jalapeños, lardon and violet mustard.
And they serve four-inch trial-size versions of every combination—in case you show up with a hungry but indecisive starlet. And if she’s still not pleased, order up a piping-hot basket of tater tots and take her hot dog leftovers home.
You can always use them as a peace offering to Chuchie.